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Compatibility in relationships.

Updated: Apr 19, 2021

A simplified compatibility checker!

Ladies, this is a short one. I saw something really interesting and decided to share. Dating is currently quite interesting. I have met some really interesting people. At the moment, most are definitely friends rather than love interests but it has been really interesting to explore the idea of compatibility. I have always believed that it is important to have compatibility along with love to have a balanced relationship. I recently found a really easy and interesting approach to checking compatibility with your partner or someone you are considering to be a partner. The details are below:

Love and the 3 "ego" States

One way to check compatibility with your partner ..

According to the work of Canadian psychologist Eric Berne, the best-matched couples vibe on three different levels.

His popular books about the model became best sellers, namely "The Games People Play." Drawing somewhat on Sigmund Freud, his theory argued that every person has three "ego states":

• The parent: What you've been taught

• The child: What you have felt

• The adult: What you have learned

When two people are really compatible, they connect along each tier. Couples therapist Peter Pearson gave a few questions for figuring out compatibility at each level:

• The parent: Do you have similar values and beliefs about the world?

• The child: Do you have fun together? Can you be spontaneous? Do you think your partner's hot? Do you like to travel together?

• The adult: Does each person think the other is bright? Are you good at solving problems together?

Using this simple approach has been useful when exploring the dating world. I am able to make more considered decisions and overall I am enjoying this new phase in my life.

Overall, if I am being more objective about this, I think it is more important to consider how you deal with incompatibility rather than how compatible you are. This is because circumstances in life never stay the same. You may be compatible today but incompatible tomorrow. Whilst using the checker is useful, there is always work to do in any relationship.

Hope this little tip is a gem of wisdom.

In Love

Always xxx


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