"Life is precious! Do not wait for the possible end to start living!"
Was this going to be how my life ends? It was the 4th of September 2011. It was about 3.00 am in the morning. I had just finished work and I was relieved that I would be home soon. Instead I was staring at the end!
I thought I was going to die. I was scared, ALONE with a gun to my head. I felt helpless. I felt powerless. My life was in the hands of a human who I thought was intent on ending my life. There was no mercy in his eyes.
I watched my life flash before my eyes. I had given him everything I had. I had handed over my bank card, my pin number, my money, my jewellery everything I had on me. He on the other hand was still intent on getting more ...
I tried pleading but all it got me was another slap across my face. He dragged me kicking and screaming off the main street into a secluded space. A place where no one would find me. No one would hear me. No one could rescue me. No one could help me...
I lay on the ground, paralysed for seconds. I felt nothing. Then something deep within rose and I called out to the Almighty... "please help me please help me please....." Then there was a stillness. He stopped ripping my clothes apart and it felt like he was looking into my soul. He asked me to repeat what I had said. I repeated my call to the Almighty again. My attacker watched me curiously, got up and then he was gone. HE LEFT!
I was hurt, cut open from the blows to my face and bleeding. My clothes were torn. I had a twenty-minute walk home ...The rest is another story but for now MY LIFE WAS SAVED.
I share this story because I learnt a few things about life from that experience that still shape how I live.
You are not alone:
My first lesson was that I was NOT ALONE. I was NEVER ALONE. The Almighty was with me. I was with me. In the darkest hour, I called on his name and he rescued me. He provided reprieve. I now live bravely through my fears, insecurities and doubts because he is with me. In the dark times or uncertain times, his energy always fills in the gaps. Even when others forsake me or are not able to be present, he is with me.I am the vessel of his miracles and wondrous works.
Love is all you need:
My second lesson was that love, family and friends are more important than worrying about the usual mundane things of life. When I lay on the ground with the thought that it was over, all I could think of was the people I loved. So, I continue to choose to love unconditionally. I continue to share my energy and spirit with everyone. I choose to make anyone's day better. It feels soooo good when someone just laughs with me. My success is the joy I feel and share with others. I try as hard as I can to make sure that I am present and conscious with each person in every moment. Every moment is precious.
When you believe:
My third lesson is perhaps the most difficult, but I hope it strengthens our belief in the possibility of miracles. It may be your will power, it may be your faith, it may be your fighting spirit, it could be anything - but belief is important. I say this because my attacker left me and raped someone else later that morning? His intention still existed but I survived.
My fourth lesson was that I have strength in the depths of my being. I have known pain and difficult circumstances; but I have never been defeated. I may falter, tumble or fall but I always come back! I always say that my scars are a reminder of a battle fought. I showed up...
I did it my way:
In the days after the incident; 9/11 happened. I was watching television with my stitches and bandages feeling sad, broken with twenty stitches on my lip. Watching people doing anything and everything to survive the attack on the twin towers . The scenes on that day woke me up with a jolt. I HAD SURVIVED. My life had been saved! What was I doing feeling sorry for myself with no other thoughts in my head? I could feel sad, but I also needed to live. In that moment, I promised that I would live. I had been given a second chance. I would not focus on the mundane. I would focus on being deliberate - doing more of what I wanted, more of what was important, more of what fulfilled me, being more of service to others. I wrote out everything I wanted to be, do and have. I wrote my own script for life. It was a script that was far away from the expectations of others, society or rules. It was me writing out my destiny...
I called this story paralysis because sometimes we are held captive and immobile. Most time it is fear holding us hostage. We fear loss, we fear rejection, we fear being less than, we fear not achieving, we fear love, we fear not having or we fear the unknown. Oh, how we fear so many things! We lose our will, our positive energy and our voices. We let others or circumstances take everything from us until they demand our very spirit, our life. Our lives then grind to a halt and we become powerless - PARALYSIS.
...powerless, helpless, scared, alone ...:
Is this how you wish to live your life? Is this how your life ends?