“Every breath we take, every step we make, can be filled with peace, joy and serenity.” —Thich Nhat Hanh
Ladies, this is a long one but I could not find a way to make it any shorter. Hope you love it. It is the update on my journey so far...
I had a picture taken whilst on holiday in Malta last week and my sister said that it described me perfectly. Distant, peaceful and serene were the three words she said. On this trip, I was with someone I had known for just over two months and I asked him what his thoughts were and he agreed! You can imagine my immense delight :-) I am what I had always desired.
So here I am sharing again, this time I am sharing my journey to becoming peace. At the start of this blog in 2020, my main focus had been on documenting my thoughts and exploring them so that I could quickly heal the intense pain inside of me. I was struggling to heal from a new relationship wound and I thought the solution would be a "Bea overhaul" to hasten the process. I wanted to observe myself and see myself. Over my time writing this blog, I have now learnt that the journey is not only about unfolding and revealing more of myself but it is also about enjoying the deliciousness of life. It is about removing the chaff and letting the pearl that is my soul and spirit shine brighter than ever. It is not 100% about learning something new but unlearning what does not serve me.
I was usually at peace with life but over time I noticed an increase in my levels of doubt and unease that was gradually shrinking parts of my world and my dreams. The lock down in 2020 gave me time to pay attention to myself. Through my journey of exploration and unfolding I discovered my light and my shadows. The light and the shadows seemed to have conversations with each other about who I was, what I did, how I performed etc. Sometimes it was two voices sometimes it was a crowd chiming freely and unfettered in my mind. Could I have done better? Was this right or wrong? Was what I created good enough? Was there more I needed to do? What does the future hold? and on and on it would go... You can imagine the suffering!
This dialogue had been left to its own devices for many years which led to increasing feelings of unease, uncertainty and doubt that would appear in my otherwise potentially peaceful world. Through observing my light and shadows with an open heart and being willing to accept every single part of me as perfect and getting better, I gradually began to integrate my light and shadows until there was "just me". Who I was, where I was and what I was was alright and I was looking forward to more of me. A phrase I embraced was I can never get it wrong and I can never get it done. I also held on to a scripture that talks about being wonderfully made by God which let me celebrate my quirks, uniqueness and "isms" happily until I woke up one morning and I recognised my full essence. I saw myself and my own blind spots with no judgement and embraced my own liberation and freedom.
I can now say that I know who I am and what I am. There is no longer a narrative in my mind creating multiple conflicting feelings and thoughts; it is "just me". It is "just me" who chooses my life story. It is "just me" with clarity of thought, feeling and direction. It is "just me" focused on creating the life that I want to see. It is "just me" creating a life full of beautiful relationships, wellness, fun, love, joy, success , peace and abundance. I had stopped waging war with myself.
“When you make peace with yourself, you make peace with the world.” —Maha Ghosananda
With this recognition of self, I am more easy-going, light-hearted and free. I am present in my life and there is no inner conflict. I feel good about myself. I feel connected to myself and life. There are no longer multiple voices chiming unfettered in my mind. The most amazing thing is that the freer I have gotten with life the more happier and successful I have become. God says that he will cater for every need and in my case his word has proven to be truth. I acknowledge that life happens regardless of me but my life happens because of me therefore I have the power to choose how every second of my life feels like and my choice is always peace! I am peace :-) Peace is the anchor of my life.
When truth and the true self meet; then there is always peace, stillness and spaciousness. - Unknown
In terms of results, if you have been reading the posts you have an idea of some of the areas that I was willing success to flow into. I'll start with the biggest miracle; I got my health back. I got my health results in May 2022 and my larger fibroids have halved in size whilst some have virtually disappeared and I no longer need surgery or any medical supervision. I can say that I am healed, restored and vibrant again! The exhilaration I felt when I found out the results was beyond what any words could ever describe. I think I shared it with everyone I could. When it comes to work, I am enjoying it immensely and I have choice in what I do and when I do it. I am also more creative than I have ever been with a team that is inspiring and excited to support my vision. I am excited by the new content I am creating and I believe it will be of value to someone. I am in a new gorgeous relationship that is authentic and fulfilling. I have a beautiful community of friends who I adore. I wake up every morning and go to bed with a smile on my face, really excited for every moment God gives. I am in a space where I trust that everything God has promised is truth and what I create with him is becoming in every second. I have relaxed into the natural abundance of well being. I find life to be extremely alluring, tempting and seductive. The list is endless but these are some of my treasured highlights....
Take the time to explore and reveal more of who you are. Knowing yourself is being yourself; it is being life. It is being alive! What would your life and the world look like if you revealed all your unique gifts ?