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Thank you for being a friend...

Updated: Apr 29, 2020

"If all girls were taught how to love each other fiercely instead of how to compete with each other and hate their own bodies, what a different and beautiful world we would live in". - Nikita Gill

My sister played a video with this quote last night and I wondered why I had never added it to my list of life's lessons.

We do not become ourselves by ourselves. There is always a co-creator in every story. In my life it has been a myriad of ladies who have given me the most incredible gifts in life. Some show up for a reason, a season or a lifetime but they all play their part in supporting me and providing clarity for my life.

I have so many examples but I will share a few:

I have fibroids and there are occasions when I am struggling to figure out what the best options for treatment are. Whenever I have spoken about my condition and asked for advice, every lady that has had a similar experience shared their story openly. I could feel the intensity of their desire for my well-being.Their advice has been extremely helpful. I am now in a place where my symptoms are managed more effectively. My life is better for having shared my story. My life is better for their kindness, compassion and their willingness to share their story.

At one point, I was made redundant and was wondering what I would do next. A lady that I used to work with who had found employment in a new work specialism contacted me and got me an interview. Voila, I had a new job. Before she got in touch, I had no plan. I was having fun playing SIMS. Her action got me into a new specialism which became the foundation for a career that has treated me well.

My sister and I were going through a difficult patch in our relationship. I was at breaking point. A lady who was usually extremely reserved offered me ten minutes of her time. Within less than six minutes she had pointed out the issue in my relationship with my sister. She saved our relationship but mostly allowed us to develop ourselves in the process. I thank her everyday in my prayers! She said I can only contact her when she contacts me. :-)

I was struggling with making a decision about getting into my latest relationship. I had been on my own for five years and I think I had got too comfortable in the single space. I had a set way of life that worked well for me. A lady who I adore took me out for ice-cream and a chat. As you have gathered I can be a bit academic and rigorous about life decisions. She told me the words her mum told her when she was considering whether to have a relationship with her future husband. She said, "can you not just turn?" Even though their relationship was short lived, the love she shared with him felt really beautiful to me. Well, I ended up having the most amazing relationship, if only for a while - but it was awesome. I extended the possibilities and horizons of my life ...

My sister is my business partner, my confidante, my greatest cheerleader, the one that consoles my soul, looks after me when I'm ill, vets all my boyfriends : -) When I am not where I need to be, she challenges me to be better and more. When I lose love for myself, she walks in with an iron rod and gets me back to love. She loves me bravely with no fear and no conditions. She taught me patience, compassion and she gives me peace. I would not be without her.

Below are the simple tips I've learnt from these amazing ladies about how to be a true friend.

1. Show love and affection.

2. Recognise, praise and build your friend.

3. Do not compete with her greatness.

4. Do not affirm the weakest part of her but challenge her to step into her biggest vision for her life - ALWAYS!

6. Ask for help. Make your needs known so that you can also receive.

We are all co-creators.

We do not become ourselves by ourselves.

In Love - Always


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