He who knows how to suffer everything can dare everything. Luc De Clapiers
One of the things that I love most about myself is that I have always been a dreamer. I dream of things that are always bigger than I am. I dream them up and I get on with making them a reality. In between making my dreams a reality, there is an unwavering dedication and commitment to the cause. However this gets mixed up and clouded by the self- doubt and exhaustion during the process of moving from dream to reality. The one idea that saves my spirit from being hard on my self during these times is the fact that I am reaching for something that is beyond me. Therefore, there is a need for me to get better! It is simply part of the process. Let's call it the "Growth Gap"! In another lifetime, I would have equated the "Growth Gap" to "Not being good enough!" I now recognise that feeling not good enough means the same thing as feeling that I need to get better. Feeling not good enough is simply a more negative spin on the experience of harnessing my strengths and developing my weaknesses to achieve my dreams.
Before my summary, I would like to quickly break down some of the thoughts that are part of the structure of not being good enough. The "I am not good enough" conversation allows you to nit pick at yourself with a focus on your flaws. There is limited focus on what makes you amazing. It allows you to crush down the positive intention in your heart. It eliminates the good intention behind what you are trying to achieve. The impressive fact that you are an amazing human and you wish to achieve greatly can get dulled. It also takes away from the beauty of the process of creating or doing because it fosters your anxiety and your worry rather than fostering your creativity, innovation , passion or joy. Your dream then becomes a suffering that you may eventually never complete or nit pick when completed ...Your intention then remains unfulfilled and your hopes stay unmet. That good intention that is fuelled by your strong desire to do more, to make a difference, to uplift ...
How would it feel if you said, my heart is calling me to this dream however, I know I have some work to do to get there. I am ready and willing to do the work! Over my lifetime, I have learnt that not everything will go to plan but just being brave to start is an accomplishment for me. Anything else is a bonus that I will celebrate! I will celebrate rather than kicking myself. I can bring my amazing skills to the table and where I am struggling; I will learn, I will ask for help and most importantly, I will take my time. Rome was not built in one day! I am so thankful that I have this idea and the opportunity to make it happen. I am thankful that I have been blessed with an idea that is uniquely mine. I am so excited to see how it all works out! I promise to enjoy every moment, the difficult parts will be called the lessons of life. They will be fountains that will wash and fill me with more knowledge, strength and future success! The reality of my dream will be my a blessing. I am a learner, I am a stunning piece of work in progress...
Does considering yourself as a stunning piece of work in progress allow you to "Dare to Be" in a more positive way. Does this feel better than saying, " I am not good enough, I am not adequate, I am not worthy, I am less than...."
Stop for a moment and think about this; you get more achieved with love rather than criticism when dealing with others in your life. You bless them more by supporting them, reassuring them and loving them. Does this not apply to you too? Bless your life and your projects with love rather than endless criticism. Use the constructive criticism to do better on the project but keep your self-worth intact.
Also remember, it takes great strength to live with pain. The strength it has taken for you to endure the pain of not feeling good enough, is the strength that can keep you committed and thriving when you are trying to overcome the "GROWTH GAP". Imagine channelling this strength into battling towards your success rather than facilitating your own stagnation or demise.You were never a victim that was suffering in pain but someone that was battling towards their destiny, battling for their dreams, battling for their love, battling to live ...
My story is that I have one dream - writing the ultimate love song. I have created many iterations but I am still searching for the dream. I have battled many rejections, great losses ( lost music/lost people), self-sabotage and feelings of inadequacy; but I now recognise that they were my vehicle to growing, learning and getting better. I am more confident in my abilities today than I have ever been before. I can now deliver the idea in my heart in the way that I want it, with certainty , passion and clarity. I learnt my craft and I became more skilled and articulate in crafting songs. This would not be me without the need to do better or in previous iterations, the "not feeling good enough" feeling. Change the words you use and find peace and success.
You all know that I am obsessed with Mantras. The one below is not mine but it is one I turn to a lot - nearly every day. I say it in silence, I say it loudly, I repeat it under my breath and over time I made peace with my journey in life and I have grown to find exquisite delight in it.
“Dare to Be"
When a new day begins, dare to smile gratefully.
When there is darkness, dare to be the first to shine a light.
When there is injustice, dare to be the first to condemn it.
When something seems difficult, dare to do it anyway.
When life seems to beat you down, dare to fight back.
When there seems to be no hope, dare to find some.
When you’re feeling tired, dare to keep going.
When times are tough, dare to be tougher.
When love hurts you, dare to love again.
When someone is hurting, dare to help them heal.
When another is lost, dare to help them find the way.
When a friend falls, dare to be the first to extend a hand.
When you cross paths with another, dare to make them smile.
When you feel great, dare to help someone else feel great too.
When the day has ended, dare to feel as you’ve done your best.
Dare to be the best you can –
At all times, Dare to be!”
―Steve Maraboli,Life, the Truth, and Being Free
In Love - Always
xxx